SCHOOL FACING LAWSUIT, CLOSURE

A small Christian elementary school in Saga prefecture is facing legal proceedings and probable closure, after their annual school play landed them in some very hot water with local authorities. Staff and students of St Matthew's Elementary made a break with tradition by performing a stirring reimagining of the first James Bond movie, Dr No. Despite a standing ovation and unanimous praise for the piece, Headmaster Graham Tanks was shocked to learn that he was being taken to court for "gross negligence and disregard for public safety", in the words of the Saga Council.

According to them, the school's performance was "unnacceptable", because in the finale there was no designated assembly point when the klaxon went off. Tanks patiently explained that the original movie was similarly lacking an assembly point, but he couldn't sway the Council.

The trial is expected to begin in September.