POLL: JAPAN HEADING FOR DISASTER

The bi-annual public forum survey results are in, and if popular opinion is anything to go by, Japan is facing a grim future. An astonishing 86% of the population feel that standards in Japan are "not OK", whilst only 14% think that standards in Japan are "OK". Reasons cited include: housewives not wearing aprons (41%), red and black bowls not being used for miso soup (57%), not enough food programs on TV (61%) and a shortage of Louis Vuitton accessories (82%).

The survey, which is compulsory for all Japanese citizens, contains 5 yes/no questions and 5 multiple choice questions, and has been proven as the the most useful survey of its kind, according to Japanese scientists. A full breakdown of the survey results will be published tomorrow.