CONVENIENCE STORE ROBBER APPREHENDED BEFORE CRIME

A Kurume branch of Lawson was the scene for a bizarre attempted crime yesterday, as a man's plans to rob the store backfired. Arriving in a large sedan car, the man, according to witnesses, swerved dangerously and crashed into the store front window. With the crimes of dangerous driving and damage of public property under his belt, 42 year old Kenshiro Sarubuta is then said to have staggered from his car wearing a black hat, a Zoro-style eye mask and black and white stripey jumper and carrying a crowbar and a brown sack marked "SWAGU" (sic). According to eye-witness Sonny J'Piker, "he then tiptoed across the car park in an exaggerated way, and used his crowbar on the door, despite it being open. Once inside he seemed to panic and tiptoed out again, mumbling something."

Questioned after his capture a few minutes later, Sarubuta said that he had been so concerned with creating the right image that he hadn't considered what he would do once inside the store. The police officers that caught the tiptoeing ne'er-do-well had no comments to make.