Thursday, July 28, 2005


Bad news for Kurume's residents - the central post office has closed its doors and doesn't show any signs of opening them. The 100 year old building, which has remained a testament to the city's determination and strength, was involed in a major incident on Saturday morning, which officials say is impossible to recover from.

At 9.43am, English-born high school teacher, Ken Misterken entered the branch to collect a parcel from his family in England. However, post office staff were unable to hand over the package, due to uncertainty about the identify of the recipient. "It's a complex, sensitive problem," claims post office chief, Shuryu Goroda, "but one of the major issues is that the gentlemen in question is on our records as "Misterken Ken", whereas the package is addressed to Ken Misterken. Naturally, we are unable to hand over the package, as he is clearly not who he claims to be."

Misterken, adopting a rather different view, told this reporter that "Mr Goroda's problem is about as complicated as a piece of overpriced bread with the crusts cut off." and that "it's bad enough that you can't buy envelopes in there, but now you have to sit around all morning because they think there are two people in this city with my name."

The problem posed by Mrken ended up bringing about the downfall of the city's most established institution, as executives got deeper and deeper into legal and bureaucratic wranglings. Mr Goroda made the solemn, simple announcement yesterday morning:

"Due to unresolvable difficulties beyond our control and a lack of sufficent manpower, I regret to inform you all that as from this moment, Kurume Central Post Office has ceased trading."


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